This is a quote from the book "The ​Virtue Of Selfishness" by Ayn Rand
...n proportion to the greatness of that person’s value to oneself. If it is the man or woman one loves, then one can be willing to give one’s own life to save him or her — for the selfish re ason that life without the loved person could be unbearable.

Conversely, if a man is able to swim and to save his drowning wife, but becomes panicky, gives in to an unjustified, ir
rational fear and lets her drown, then spends his life in loneliness and misery — one would not call him “selfish”; one would condemn him morally for his treason to himself and to his own ...
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